The dull musings and grey stardust

I'm suppose to be packing my stuff to head off, but what am I doing now?

1. pondering if I should begin on a new manga. If I do, this would be my first. I've never attempted at a 'more than 7 pages' manga before. only one made it to the 6th page... then, it stopped totally. to top that, i only took a day to complete it. I never work on anything more than 2 days.....tell me if i should begin on this?

2. Talk to my friend today, ended up he convince me to go jamming tomorrow instead of packing.

3. Thinking where I should bring my gals for tomorrow's meet up. Yann, Van, love you guys.

4. Itching for CGing early in the morning.

5. I got myself David Cook's song 'Always be my Baby' after sooooooooooo much effort!!!!!! (since I had to find the title of the song) Hoooo!!!! I rule!!!!!!!

6. Upgraded my laptop's RAM and spend a hell lot on that already.

Since I’ve been gone for sooooooooooooo long, you guys might have thought that I was already dead. (Rofl). Well, sadly, I’m very much alive and leaving [soon].

Well, this might not be necessary, but to accommodate for me being missing in the last few months, I’ve decided to post an entry on what I’ve been up to.

 

out of stress.... well.....

haha, yeah... "enjoying" life. ROFLOL!

And to tell how much I "Love" Malaysian weather ....

And during Exam weeks ......

1. Part 1: Cheat sheet WIP

oh, the EVIL MIS (Management Information System) 'cheat' sheet that we are permitted to bring into the exam hall!!! some of my course mates did cheat sheets that were WAYYYYYYYYY more complex than mine. They are like FTW freaking amazing!!! i was like so amaze by how much info they could squeeze in a regular A4 sheet.

 

2. Part 2: a new badge to my collection

 

Like.... I seriously got to thank my friend, D.Wen  for giving me this. it is like a refreshing thing to my collection of badges. While studying for most of my challenging papers.I kept staring at the badge and it help make me feel more alert to continue despite all that agonizing lethargy. I'm not a Mickey fan. but this badge is just oh so adorable. [by the way, for those of you who don't know... The badge resembles the Pride Flag colors. Beautiful ain't it??? ngeeee....]

 

3: Part 3: Coffee in a Glass bottle

 

This is what happens when you leave your mug in your friend's room and didn't take it back in time for your coffee breaks. I had to use the only glass bottle i had to make coffee 5 am in the morning. -.- It worked well as a shaker.

 

After exam and graduation however.....

 Look what Inti did to my precious student ID!!!!! T_____________T Buhuhuhuhuhu!!!! I can't even remember how many people I have complained to. I complain this to almost every Tom, Dick, Harry, Kiki ,Lala, Jack and Thomson I know in Inti and yes, I've not even gotten tired of complaining yet. They cut off the side of my student ID!!!!!!

 

On my other free time.....

 I miss my boys ALOT!  I ended up drawing them on my practice sheet. Instead of doing Accounting practices for exam preparations, i end up drawing on it. well, glad the hell of exam is over... for now. -.-

 

Okay, so i more or less highlighted what I've been up to. Seriously, I can't really recall what I've been up to exactly...

Hei everyone, it's has seriously been forever since i last posted. I think my last post is around... March or so.... Gosh, it has been forever, and i couldn't be any happier since i can now use the normal streamyx speed after a time that seemed to last an eternity while I was finishing my final semester in Inti.

I've officially graduated from Inti!!! never thought I'll ever be upset to leave that place. when i left last week, I have got people reminding me that i'll be gone... for good. THANKS ALL!!!! *fake* roflol.

Sigh, i know I'll miss you guys and all the crazy s*** we've been through or we have been up to. no more late night visits to KLIA no more. or the late night mamaks all the way until the break of dawn. and to everyone out there who looks down on Inti students. Just a word, even if you guys think we are some kinda social losers. you've made a huge mistake. I'm proud to be an Ex Intian and Inti is the University I'm proud of! XD yeah!!!!

ah well, cut the crap short. anyway, back to what I'm saying. although I've graduated, I'll be continuing with my twinning in Australia, Adelaide to be precise. (tempat kampong betul) so, bye bye Malaysia~~~~~~~~!!!!!!! I love you people so much!!!!! *never thought i'll have to confess but i did* okay, don't worry, i'm still around until 11th July 2008. XD

to my Yann Yann and Van Van, I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mush Huggles chus loads loads before i leave and cuddles chus loads loads til chus turns blue. T^T

To everyone else, all my guy friends, gal friends, "boyfriends", "girlfriends", "lesbian friends", "gay friends", "gay partners", "lesbian partners", "hetero partners", my anime partners in crime, my drawing buddies, my "ghey-fied" partners in crime (a 'squirrel' and a 'koala'), Inti-Adelaide buddies, and the MAG club members, and my "sisters", I wish you guys all the best in life. I pray we'll be able to meet again someday. T____________T you guys have been an inspiration to my life with the way you guys just come by and touch my heart a little here and there which has made a different to what i am today. whether we were really close or we merely met or so. I wanna thank you guys for being there for me. thank you all. T^T

yeah, so this ends what i have to say to everyone. thank you thank you and thank you.

Gah!!!!!!!! Work work work!!! Tuts tuts and more tuts!!! Followed by 3 test (which I am so doomed and unprepared to face) and a presentation in the next 2 weeks!!!! I feel nerdy!!!!

 

 

I miss my friends back at home~~~~~~~ T____________________T

 

I miss drawing and CGing crappy stuff

 

I miss Deviantart

 

I miss writing

 

I miss my family a hell lot!!!!

 

I miss relaxing

 

I miss Friend’s Café and Secret Recipe

 

Etc

Today is a stressful day. I don’t know why, but it feels taxing. In a way, I’m glad that my day ended well with a group discussion with my current course mates and later, chatting with my ex -foundation mates. While complaining to them how nerdy my course has made me.

 

Deedadee

 

Anyway, today is tiring…. Sien. Cate, my lecturer from Adelaide is coming over tomorrow. I heard rumors that I am the 2^nd last batch for this course in Inti. I guess this course was a failure anyway, at least for Inti to start it for 4 years and end it over some dispute with their counterparts in Aus, together with the Aus government not wanting to recognize us any further.  At least I manage to squeeze through. XD

 

>D

 

I don’t mean to be nasty but I hope Cate ain’t too big a perfectionist. From the way she deliver notes and the way she spoke earlier in this semester (the words and tone of speech from the course structure, I have never met her in person), I thought ‘what a mean piece of Cake!’ don’t mean to be lame, but because my Malaysian lecturer had bad pronunciation so I thought it was Cake instead of Cate. Only when I saw her name being put up I was like ‘oooooo… Cate~~~~’

 

To my lil love bugs,

youko_hiei88 and van, I am sorry I didn’t have time today. T.T I ish jerk, I know. Today is busy, and I have got more work to do. Lemme die~~~~~~~ XD

 

 

TT_______________TT

 

I am so late behind schedule, hope I can make amendments for it, and hopefully keep up with the pace of my ultra genius course mate buddies. They are like… so amazing!!! Serious!

 

Anyway, thanks Jo for saving the human race of Inti yesterday for calling up the EBB guy to fix up the internet.  The internet race of inti (actually me only) almost died of internet deprivation. I end up drawing and doing random stuff out of sheer boredom until I was rescue. *drama queen betul la -.-‘’’’’*

okay, today, my internet server crash. and i was going all... I HATE EBB!!!!



then, i manage to have a good chat with youko_hiei88, KK and Silentd, after the server got better. during the time when the server crash, i was so effing bored since i didn't attend any classes today. i end up messing around with my tabbie.

as a result.....


HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! folio paper!!!!!!!!!!! ya... basically, i used my tabbie to do things that can be done by mouse. how stupid.

i have ceased CGing and drawing illustrations for a month now. so i decide to put my Cg skills to the test.

the results:



OMG!!!!! he's fugly!! this is so not Scay!!!! i betrayed youko_hiei88 by creating a hideous thing!!!!! i'm so sowiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!! i swear, this picture has another name, other than 'Del Servaas', it is called, 'the picture that tortured me during it's process'. seriously, doing this, is sheer torture, because it felt difficult since i lost my touch of CGing and it was all chap-lang shades of bullshit in a picture. it turned out so bad, i was freaking emo after completing it. relieved that i am spared of more torture, but i got emo. i spend 7 hours on this!!!!!!! i really dunno how. dun ask.  -.-llll not worth my time investment --> business students need to know this.

right now youko_hiei88 is still writing the story. and i am like soooooooo anticipating for more. she made Lucious and Scayden seem so.... OMGzzzzzzz!!!! i so like the way she writes bout them. for those of you waiting, i hope she can publish part 1 soon. i really wanna see it!!!!!! publish it~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!! >D

just now, while i was bored. i ended up singing in low monotone voice. *that is my real singing voice* in my room. normally my voice is quite high pitched *i think* but when i sing, it can be really monotone. i wonder did my neighbours hear it. because she suddenly attached a message to my room door saying that she is sorry for being noisy and pestering me *which never happened at all*. sure, she did move some things which i can hear the dragging from my room and all. but never more than that. so i wonder, is it because she heard me singing metal and monotone songs.  hmmm? maybe she thinks i am doing this for a pay back thing... no!!!! i ain't!!!!

Hi, long time no speak, been busy as always. And I have neglected drawing so much. T_______T as I look at some of my friend’s artworks, I really think I should start killing myself. T_____T I’m totally hopeless. I have not CG-ed in ages!!!! Totally.  Everyone improving, as for me, totally regressing to the stages beyond impossible!

 

To top that, I decided to meet my sister today, since I had something I needed to return to her. On the way which some person/group of %#%$^#%^ people stole my hand phone. Damn it! It’s less then a month old!!!!. Okay, since I lost a new cell phone….. I think it’s another reason why I should die. Hell. Anyway, losing my cell phone, this means I probably need to get a job to buy a new one. So most likely, it means even less drawing and more working. I have thought of commissions. But hell, who would commission me??? XXXDDD ok, so I have no confidence in my drawing.

 

Thirdly, my new course mates are ultra hardworking. They know everything, read through all the textbooks and doing tutorials before attending classes. They are like so-the prepared already. And for my part again, this means even less drawing (and more studying)! Let me die of emo-ness now.

 

Fourthly, my internet connection in campus is slow, super duper slow, (kalo nak lawan dengan siput, internet ni rasa lebih lambat la. Sia sueh ni...) I can’t access DA. I can’t clear my mail box up. It’s like so-the spammed already. Sigh. Inspiration running low too. Since I don’t have a good environment for creativity. Most of my time is spend on my business textbooks. I really feel like I’ve lost the touch and momentum of things. Let me die~~~~~ no inspiration = no drawing.

 

Fifth, I don’t know how to keep up with the pace of my coursemates. They are super smart. Also, I don’t know what to do. For the PPP, I told them the deadline. But now I am afraid I have to break the promise I made. I don’t think I can complete it by then. Sigh. Things are really pilling up on me, more then I can cope. Moreover, my positions in clubs are demanding. I really can’t find much time for thigns. Sigh, help me. I hope I can live through this and turn out stronger and better. I am desperate for my art to improve. But I feel my environment isn’t permitting me too.

 

Partly, I guess it is my fault too. Tell me if you think these are excuses I’ve came up with. I would love to hear from others. Thanks. Love you guys. Hope I can draw something soon. *huggles*

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Hi all, as i have said, i've been busy. thsi left me with hardly any time to get involve with more time consuming drawings. so i have done some random fast doodles of my  boys that i share with EdenRei. mostly, i've been drawing Lucious and Scayden pictures. since I've been helping EdenRei out with part of the plot. I've worked more on the story since my long term art block began after chinese new year. anyway, here are some rough rough sketches. most of it by hand, but it's taken from my webbie since i am too lazy to use my scanner. XXDD



OMG!!! I am Junj-obsessed





FTW??!!!!!!! Jun kena Pukul!!!!

 

Fast, happy conteng of Lucious.

 

 

 

Scayden feeding Lu curry <-------- Lu hates curry  0-o

More happy contengs ----> i dunno WTF is this, really.

 

speed contengs again!!!!

Actually i have more. but i am too lazy to post it. now i got ma work to do. Financial tut coming right up!!!! BTW, this is my 2nd edit. sorry i stopped half way earlier. T.T was in comp lab and i had my reports to do. so i only posted up half of this journal.

 
anyway, back to the books!! busy busy busy!! next tutorial at 2 o'clock!!! XD

this is a short entry just to say that i am busy with life. the new semester begun and i am dead busy. to top that, all my course mates are f-kin geniuses!!! competing with them is really an uphill task. but it's fun beign with them. really.

and to tell everyone. i will be going on DA alot less now. life's really busy. REALLY!!! also, i'll be drawing much much less now. considering i wanna raise my grades this sem. now in comp lab. class on. ja!!!!

PS: 8am sucks!!!

this are two songs and MVs i am currently in love with. yes!! i love armory!!! and samurais!!! oh, it's love. if anyone got any nice videos to share, nice MVs anythign. please share it with me. >< *ish veli desperate oredi*

Cloverfield is wicked amazing. Yeah, I decided to put up a single entry dedicated to that movie. Anyway, it’s really astonishing. It grips you because you don't expect what will happen next. But the major, major AND major, major, MAJOR flaw is that, the movie is made like a single person shooter view. Despite training myself last time in counter strike, I still feel dizzy watching the movie. I came out of the cinema wanting to churn out my lunch earlier. Damn, it felt really nasty. Even while watching the movie, I was hoping to leave the cinema soon. But I didn’t since I paid for the effing expensive ticket. It was like… sheer torture!!! So dizzy!!! Even after leaving the cinema, I was in lethargy from the torment that I’ve gone through earlier. But since I use to play single person shooter games, my condition didn’t seem as bad as my buddies who don’t. They seemed really disorientated.

 

Okay, anyway,.....

 

 

Anyway, it’s an awesome movie… but most likely. A lot of people will suffer the same fate while watching just as I did. T.T

 

And also, it seems like Cloverfield did a little wonder to revive my long dead inspiration. Here are fast contengs. First 2 done in coffee bean and tea leafs while I was trying to ease my pain. The rest are done with my tablet and my pc at home. all four done in less than 20 minutes, it can’t be blamed. I made them messy on purpose. Generally, all this pictures sorta give a little spoiler here and there. I can’t draw the monster at all. I did my own version, after all, I hardly had a glimpse of the monster anyway. Sorry for the cacat, ugly and unlike Cloverfield arts. I won’t even dare to call it anywhere near fanart. But it heavily stresses on the scenes I can recollect here and there or at least, on the impressions it laid on me.

 

Please do comment or critisize on what you think. For those who have already watched it, I mean. But if you have yet to watch it and you want to comment or criticize. You are also most welcomed to. ^^ all comments and criticisms are greatly appreciated.

Hi, I’ve been gone for too long. Today I am here to talk about… nonsense.

 

Raisiu of PanPurin celebrated her birthday today with the gals. I brought Yann and Van in. apparently KK was also going out with his friends. Nyang~~~ we even met at the restaurant,I got to meet his good friend. But we never really had the chance to talk. T.T I feel so bad for not talking to him properly, same to kk. I am such a horrible friend T.T. KK gave me so many oranges!!!! Thanks uncle…T.T happy CNY!!!

 

Anyway, we ate at sibaraku, Tzezumi manage to join use too!! But poor dear, she came back from national service sick!! NS~~ don’t b evil on my friends!!!! So I was bitching about my NS experience 2 years back and she was telling me how it was like. Yeah, we share certain similar thoughts on certain eccentric things and behaviors we encountered. And I revealed an embarrassing secret to the PanPurin by accident… it was too sudden!!!! T.T I had to react!!! And I was like ‘oh s***~~~’ after that since… even my college friends don’t know about my personal life although we are really close, most of them at least. I hardly reveal it to anyone. Why did I tell them~~~~~~ T^T so embarrassing~~~~!!!!!! I also had fun scaring arekanderina about my ‘stalked victim’ although I don’t really stalk her (of course). But seeing arekanderina’s expression, I just had to disturb her!!! XXXDDD muahahahah!!!

 

After that, me, yann, van and Mirim went to watch cloverfield. It’s wicked cool… but… OMGZZZZ!!! Dizzy~~~~~ by the time we came out, we were all…. About to barf our Japanese lunch out. It was sheer torture watching but it was fun while it lasted. Later we hang out in coffee bean and tea leafs, hoping to recover from the vertigo. T.T I bought Germaican green tea there. Ah… it’s love. And I realize, I don’t like Chai!!!

anyway, sorry Van, i know you are ill, should not have pull you out. same to yann. sorry... i'm so tactless. T.T

Today was a busy day for me. as the tension of my artblock continues to feed on me.

good thing i was busy, so no time to feel depress.

1.got up early and helped out at the anime booth for recruiting week.
2. took hours of running about Inti while dealing with my EILTS stuff, updating my ID and borrowing books up and down.
3.gave my student tuition lessons for economics and intermediate mathematics

by the time i got back was almost 5. my head was very heavy and i crashed for an hour and a half. woke up for laundry, etc, etc... *head still heavy and still feeling lethargic*. went shopping for Pei Pei Papaya's stuff. bought more than 60 buckaroos of junkies. the lady at the counter was givin me a 'wtf  are u buyin so much junkies for??!!!' stare. i stared back at her with a 'ftw are you staring at??!!' look. that taught her a lesson. XXXDDDD now at CC chatting and updating my journal. XXXDDD

and for my student, i wanna tell him, i am very very proud of him. after all his hard efforts, he manage to pass all his papers. he's a mandarin educated who has a very limited english vocabulary. but he manage to pass all his papers this time around. i am so glad for him and so proud of him. By the way, he's very determined and hard working and he knows when to ask for help. never be shy, like him. he'll go a far distance.

as for Siow Yan.... why??!!! leave Inti for Taylors!! never tell me pulak!!!! T.T nevermind, i go Inti SJ and carik u at Taylors since Pei Pei Papaya is there!!! muaahahahah!!!

Almost thought i left my 4GB USB in my trousers that i took for laundry, nasib i took out. phew~~~~ scare me nia.

1. She's restless

2. she at campus now for holiday.

3. she edited her profile page.

4. she drew this few days ago:
                                                                  and her bad color sense is a proven theory.

5. she wanna go Subang to see Pei Pei Papaya.

6. She want  youko_hiei88 to send her blood plus manga... now!!!!

7. she is excited and wanna finish her mokuro pic for  shadowdorumon

8. she wanna show arekanderina the chibi of arekanderina nurse gal she drew.

9. she still can't CG and draw.

10. her artblock is killer!!!!!


PLZ dun kheel this pathetic person for ALWAYS whining about her artblock. she made this entry in a CC where boys are screaming out stuff less pleasant. T.T

busy~~~~~~~~ and art block. i finally did  a piece of my gift art for mirim, but i am too lazy to upload it now. worked on drawing Chibi avis. mainly for PanPurin. at least it keeps me occupied during my art block. so far i've drawn 3 of them. one for Raisiu, one for Arekenderina and for my avi. i've only outlined Raisiu's one. wanted to do arekanderine's one next but my Pc started lagging. T.T

to Arekanderina, sowieeeeeee~~~~~~~~ nevermind, i'll keep it a surprise from you. show her to you once she's done.

here's Raisiu's Chibi , no colors yet. i'll do the avis for DA later. now i'm just doing the characters first. Arekanderina, please comment and see what you think. any additions to your charac can be made ASAP. XD since i've not done her properly yet. any details you wanna add, tell mua!!!! as for Raisiu, i have yet to warn her, and the rest of the PanPurin that i have a tendency to give people's characters piercings and turn them slightly um... punkish? i tried to minimize the piercings since i know not everyone likes it as much as me. T.T he's got one on his left earlobe (our right)



and this is my character, Aerhul. still a sketch version. i'll clean it up later. T.T lazy me. he's only interested in *uke* boys. and his ability is bubble gum bomb, mainly use to trap cute boys for himself. he has got dreadlocked hair and 2 piercings on each side of his ear. on top of that, he got one piercings at his left eyebrow. 
 

Art block is on. i ought to thank my buddies Van, Shermin 

arekanderina , and Yann youko_hiei88 for cheering me on during this hard time, without you guys, it's really hard for me to move on, Arigato so much. T.T. 

I did something really stupid today, which is delete all my BL and to think how much it meant to me. ah well... lol.

today, i got a heavy art block. i can't Cg well, so i
    during the day and  in the middle of the night.

i also played with my webbie  (out of boredom) and got gay. the outcome is:

   and

after that, i attempt at Cging a piece i wanna do for PanPurin. which is

but the colors are bad. sadly, i can't give up on this one because it's a collab with my sister. i'll release the full piece when i am done. but currently, i am emo over the fugliness and i need some tiem to get over it first before i proceed with the CGing.

other than that, i tried a 6927 fanart. i only did a gay gay mokuro. as for Tsunatsuna, not done yet. 

WIP :
 <--- Mokuro Rokudo [veli veli cacat by me]

 

What really stinks is when your inspiration run so dry that you feel you can’t even raise a pen to draw or write, nor do you feel like anything will come out on the electronic screen that displays writings and images as you type of move your tablet. Yeah, my inspiration is at point nil. Sucks so badly I got depress. Damn it!!!

Finally completed my collab for mashi-san. Hope this one is better. T.T

 

but still, I really crave to Cg, but my ideas aren’t coming out well. And my Cg is so not what I want it to turn out to be that I get agitated. T.T I know I sound so horrible, but I need it to be what I hope it is. T.T I am doing so badly that I get upset with myself. And I colored ‘roasted meat’ today, meaning, I destroyed the skin. And I can’t get the hair right. So depressing. I am so bad, so amateurish Cging. I am upset beyond words of describing.

 

This is the lucky star dance. cute!!! XD 

i wonder if anyone can trace this kinda lineart in Pc? that's a hella alot work. 

looks like i won't be using this for my collab. T.T

firstly, i torture people with my ug-lay lineart, confuse people's brains and scramble thier intelligence unintentionally. not that i wish to do it on purpose.

nextly, i can't control my hands when i am drawing. i draw stuff that kills people yet again because i don't know how to make it simple when i want to. yet it's a vice versa thing when i hope to do somethign more detailed.

i must really apologize to my collab buddy for this one. i'll work on somethign less difficult. T.T sowie~~~~~~~ i am so stupiak! sowie Mashi-san. T^T



my inspiration also mati again. damn muse!!! i hate you!!! *gigit dia*